The Equalizer

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If it hasn't done so already, I wouldn't be at all surprised if a new word enters the Oxford English Dictionary next year : Balconing.

I would imagine that the description would be something like this : " Balconing : A Sport enjoyed by British Youths under strictly observed criteria : The Sport can only take place in the early hours of the morning by inebriated males between the ages of 16 - 30 who are attempting to show off to similar male acquaintances or indifferent females. Only ever occurs in the summer months of the year and on Spain's Balearic Islands.

Firstly, I have no sympathy at all for anybody that willingly jumps out of a Hotel room and reserve my remorse for those who fall as the result of a freak accident, are pushed or who fall whilst trying to escape from some terrifying event.

Secondly, those who kill themselves participating in this craze leave behind the real victims : their friends and family, and the reputation of the British Tourist.

Obviously, death is not the the prime objective here - One is to jump from one balcony to another. A more extreme version is to jump from the balcony to the Hotel Swimming pool, however far away and however many floors below that may be.

The number of people who successfully make such a jump is unknown, but those who pay the price for failure is known : in 2010 Six people were killed over the summer months, whilst in Summer 2011 (so far) there have been 4 deaths, and many injuries - 3 of them serious.

Tourist board officials are looking into forcing Hoteliers to install higher balconies to prevent this craze. (They obviously don't understand that if somebody is willing to jump into the shallow end of a swimming pool from eight stories up, that an extra 6 Inches of metalwork is hardly likely to deter them). But what about the bread and butter tourist who has been visiting Mallorca, or wherever, every year since the 1960's ? - Why should they have their Balcony view of the Med ruined because of a handful of idiots ?

And why should the Spanish / Expat tax payer stand the bill for the emergency services, and hosing down involved here ? Official Foreign office figures show that the number of British Holidaymakers needing treatment in Spain last year came to 3'752 - of which, I wouldn't be at all surprised if 95% were as the result of doing something stupid as a result of drinking too much. And that's not to count the material damage that they cause.

My Solution ? : Simple - No need to increase prices because that way the innocent suffer along with the guilty - how about instead a 500 Euro mandatory "Good Behaviour Bond" for everyone between the ages of 16 to 30 holidaying on the Balearics ? The Bond would be fully refundable in the event of A) The bearer not having required medical treatment of any kind, B)The bearer not being proved to have willingly damaged any hotel, private or public property, C)The bearer not being arrested by the Police.

Extreme ? Maybe, I don't care. I have never heard of any 52 year old women jumping off balconies, or any 64 year old men Inhaling alcohol shots. Why should they pay for the idiocy of the minorities ?