Mr Grumpy

Subscribe to my blog

I am quite possibly the last person in the world, let alone Spain, to cast criticism over the way in which most Expats speak – especially when I am just as guilty of the said crime which drives me mad :

Why, for the love of the sweet baby Jesus do so many expats (me included) insist on speaking ‘Spanglish’ ?

An old teacher of mine at school once told me that if you walk on the left hand side of the road you will be safe, likewise if you walk on the right, however if you walk in the middle you are placing yourself in serious danger. I like to think he was making some kind of analogy on the importance of being committed to something in comparison to the danger of doing something half-heartedly.

Then again, it could have just been a Tufty Club* lesson on how to cross the road safely.

Anyhow, I suppose this has been my problem in ‘learning’ Spanish. I only ever begin a conversation in Spanish that I can be sure of finishing, and as such these are relatively few and far between.

But it drives me insane when expats (myself included) resort to using English words that they are unsure about in Spanish.

In a round about way though, I begrudgingly admire the speaker of said words for at least ‘giving it a go’, but what is far, far, far worse is when the same expats are talking in English amongst English friends, and insist on substituting every third word for a Spanish one.

Why ? To show off ? To score points ?

I had an Estate Agent around to my house the other day to give me a valuation of the property. A Brit Expat I knew in passing, so he had no reason or cause to speak Spanish to me.

In conversation he continually referred to my property as being a Finca (Cottage) on rustica (Rural) land, and that the Piedra (Stone) construction made it quite charming. He particularly liked the fact that we had fitted Armarios (Wardrobes) in the bedrooms and that we were located on a good sized Piso (plot) in the Campo (Country). The fact that we didn’t have Rejas (Grilles) didn’t spoil the property, and he thought that the fact that we had a number of Almendras (Almond Trees) in the garden added a certain value.

Honestly, I was 2 Segundos (seconds) away from ramming my Collins English : Spanish down his Garganta (throat).

I suppose my point is this : In conversation with a Spaniard I can see the value and necessity in having to speak a ‘dual language’ conversation, but why do so when both parties speak the same language fluently ? Ok, ok , maybe when there isn’t an easy translation to hand – for something regionally unique or a technical oddity, but come on ... a wardrobe ?

* As a 5 year old, I had endless nightmares of being forced to continually cross the road with a giant squirell called Tufty....anyone else ?