Mr Grumpy

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By Mr Grumpy - Thu 1st Sep 2011

 

Why is it that all the D-List celebrity, perma-tanned orange chavs from the UK decide to grace us expats in Spain with their presence whenever they go abroad for one of their many holidays ?

Usually Jordan, or Kerry Katona, or the 'Only way is Essex' wannabees choose to come to Malaga and are snapped falling out of some nightclub and into the gutter by Heat magazine, or Hello, or OK, or whatever...

Only last week the headlines in one of the British 'newspapers' (cough!), described the visit to Spain of my most despised 'Celebrities' (another cough) - Katie Price.

It went on to describe how she, together with her family and her new boyfriend of however-many-days, and whatever his name may be, plus their respective parents and an entourage and other hangers-on, holidayed in a luxury villa in Puerto Banus. Paid for courtesy of ITV2 I shouldn't wonder.

Apparently, wishing to treat her family to slap up meal, she decided to take them all out to sample one of Spain's famous 'Menu-del-Dia's', and enjoy the best Andalucian cuisine that Puerto Banus could offer : the freshest of locally caught seafood, lovingly prepared and then washed down with a bottle of chilled Spanish white wine whilst dining at a beach front location.

Hang on, I've got that bit wrong..... nope, she took them all to McDonalds.

Although I wasn't there with her (I couldn't be after the last injunction against me), I can imagine that she broke more than one of the rules listed in my previous "How Not to behave when visiting Spain" Blog.

The many Brits visiting Spain generally get a bad rap, but it is sad and depressing when 'high profile' instances like this only reaffirm that stereotype, and it is little things like this that annoy me about Ms Price all the more. Why should it be that just because she has a few quid, she thinks that she is exempt from being a 'Disrespectful Guiri' ?

So which other 'celebrities' are on my hit-list ?

- Kerry Katona : Should by rights be working in a chippy somewhere in St Helens. Famous for bailing out of a girl band before they became half decent and marrying somebody who used to be in a boy-band before they became half decent, then having a squad of kids together. Cries a lot on TV and keeps busy doing nothing meaningful. Recently filmed by her ever-present film crew on holiday in Malaga complaining that she couldn't find an English Hairdresser.

- The Only way is Essex : Their recent holiday to 'Marbs' was cringe worthy. Nobody should be allowed to be that Essex.

- The Only way is Geordie : Recently filmed holidaying in Mega-ruff, sorry Magaluf, which I am still having nightmares from.

- Peter Andre : Who somehow manages to be even more orange than his ex-wife. Recently performed in Marbella and Benidorm, where the promoters forgot to issue any press-passes for the British or Spanish Media : and then they complain that he received too little coverage in the local press. Odd one, that...

- The entire cast of Loose Women : One of which owns a Holiday home not too far from me, and a friend swears hearing them throw a tantrum in a local restaurant because they didn't have a table free at the precise moment they walked in.

On the other side of the coin, I thought Rick Stein did quite a good job of representing Spain on his recent series on Spanish Cooking. He toured as much of the country as his TV production company budget would allow and showed real Spaniards cooking real food with real ingredients and in real kitchens. He even spoke Spanish to many of the participants - without the need for a translator (in camera shot, at least). Hardly a stereotype in sight, and the closest he came to a 'Costa' was collecting anchovies from the quayside in Cantabria.

It made a refreshing change to see some interesting and positive representation from a celebrity Brit in Spain for once.