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When did British TV become so crap ?

By Mr Grumpy - Fri 14th Oct 2011

Living in Spain inevitably means that a lot of time is spent outside - especially during the summer months, and as such watching any TV at, let alone British TV, is a rarity.

A late Spring / Summer evening would often be spent at the beach, in the park or at the local Bar in the square and as such TV is surplus to requirements.

But now that the evenings are getting shorter and the weather worse, it is inevitable that a bit of TV is going to start creeping into the daily routine.

So with Mrs Grumpy overseas on business, and my daughter tucked up in bed, I decided to spend an evening in on my own catching up on the marvellous bounty of UK TV that I have been missing out on for so long.

However, in the space of God-Knows-How long it seems to have turned - how can I put this? : Crap.

I also have a few questions that the more dedicated TV watcher may be able to put me straight on :

1. As far as Newsreaders are concerned, when exactly did Bombay become Mombai and Peking become Beijing ?

2. When did TV stations stop warning of bad language and start warning of 'flashing lights that may cause the onset of epilepsy' ?

3. When did it become compulsory for every soap opera to have a cast member from every ethnic group, religion, disability and sexual orientation ? I have never lived on a street that was THAT cosmopolitan : Do places like that actually exist in the real world ?

4. Since when did the word 'Celebrity' stop being synonimous with somebody who had a talent, and instead meant 'somebody who was famous for doing nothing at all other than being famous' ? (Or from being on a reality TV show ?)

5. When did it become the norm that the Comedians of ten years ago should start doing travel documantaries as soon as they stopped being funny - Is this the BBC's unique way of introducing a Pension scheme for them ?

6. Why is every TV show these days either about Cooking, DIY, Gardening or some kind of Reality TV show ? What happened to PROPER TV ?

7. Ten years ago washed up old actors that hadn't been seen or heard of for decades used to turn up on Last of the Summer Wine. Now it seems to be that Celebrity-IceDancing-Factor-in theJungle gets first pickings.

8. Why is the Weather 'Brought to me by Powergen' ? - I thought it was generally brought from across the Atlantic by a combination of the Gulf stream and prevailing trade winds and low pressure fronts ?

9. The Documentary Channel : Sweet Baby Jesus! why do the executives of this station think I would have any interest in (and I kid you not!) : Ice Road Truckers; The Deepest Catch; Pawn Stars; Candian Loggers. Yes, you read correctly - not one Episode, not even one series, but whole multiple seasons of episodes about Truck drivers, Fishermen, Pawnbrokers and men chopping trees down. When did TV become so dull ? - I swear to god I saw a program the other day about a guy decorating a cake. Give me the A-Team any day.

10. Kids TV ? It goes from one extreme to the other : You either have some wierd fluffy teddies teaching kids to speak a language that isn't even a language, or some kind of far-fetched Sci-fi Bull541t. What's up with re-reruns of Dangermouse or Hong Kong Phooey ?

11. Loose Women : Take 6 Menopausal Women who used to be famous and either can't or don't want to work for a living anymore. Put them in a room together infront of a camera and let them moan about men for an hour. Genius!

Comment on this Blog

Spot on. It makes I laugh how others are drawn to the box tricks that you pay for yet have no control over, except with the remote control. All programs are preloaded unless an event occours that concides with that particular situation. If you want to watch what you want when YOU want then get a hardline broadband connection.... WE WILL CONTROL ALL THAT YOU SEE AND HEAR
Argie - Thu, 1st Jan 2015
It was crap the minute FREEVIEW came on the scene - nothing to do with TV enjoyment its all to do with adverts
Clayden D - Thu, 2nd Oct 2014
A very accurate description of shitty UK TV. Add to this shitty adverts and shitty narrators on reality shows.
David - Wed, 26th Feb 2014
Minami : You forgot to mention last night's televisual feast that was "The Man with the 10 Stone Testicals"... I kid you not...
Mr Grumpy - Fri, 18th Oct 2013
They started putting freak shows on Channel 5, such as octopus girl and the girl with two heads, and the man made of rock. The BBC the copied by making a show about a British woman who woke up with a Chinese accent. If I don't pay my licence fee I will go to prison yet they make this kind of nonsense.
Minami Sumi - Fri, 18th Oct 2013
TV is crap full stop,and why? because we have to pay for a licence. I challenged the BBC to be a subscription service so the licence could be scrapped - NO WAY easier to shaft the public and threaten those that dont pay with fines and prison god forbid you dont pay - you will be treated more severely than an axe murderer!!! Welcome to the BBC they play what they want and we pay...and all their favourites jump on the gravy train to collect their wages...As for the rest ok they dont charge but can you be bothered watching a movie when adverts appear every 15 mins for 5 mins Most of the tv these days is designes for people who are literally brain dead - and there must be lots of zombies out there cos they seem to be watching all this mind numbing rubbish
Nigel - Mon, 8th Oct 2012
What? Virtually free entertainment in these times of crisis? I´ll certainly be watching with my bottles of tap water and cheap hand-held fan!
Mo - Sat, 28th Jul 2012
If you are bored with the Olympics coverage already Mr Grumpy then there's no hope for you son!
Christopher Gamble - Sat, 28th Jul 2012
I was bored of the #Olympics before last night - I certainly am now.
Mr Grumpy - Sat, 28th Jul 2012
I´m sure Wëlsh shoppers find it helpful - but you´re right, as Dire Straits sang, "fifty-seven channels and nothing on." (Then again, I´d to watch the opening ceremony of the Olympics last night with unbearable Spanish commentators yapping over it. I really DO ned an English channel).
Mo - Sat, 28th Jul 2012
For some inexplicable reason my Mrs has just contracted to a Gazillion extra channels - it seems that there is a direct correlation : As the number of channels available increases, the quality of TV to choose from becomes even more crap..... A shopping channel in Welsh - what next ?
Mr Grumpy - Fri, 27th Jul 2012
And in UK we have to pay for a TV licence so we have to PAY for all the crap !
Minami - Sat, 14th Apr 2012
Hee hee! As you no doubt realise I am a very complex and complete human being ....the real resaon is Because I Can, but also since I´m busy novelling away at a Great Scottish Novel with a Romanian character in it I try to get a feel for Romania by watching its TV. Actually I might be writing the Crap Scottish Novel but then it will be the fault of Romanian TV!
Mo - Sat, 17th Dec 2011
I'm busy wondering what a 'Weegie' living in Spain would be doing watching Romanian TV.
Mr Grumpy - Sat, 17th Dec 2011
I suppose you´re justified in what you say Mr. Grumpy. I think all TV has become afflicted with crap, just that some TV stations never were any good in the first place and are now even worse. Cuban TV is, frankly, pathetic and Romanian TV only has one studio with one presenter and one programme for everything except the news.
Mo - Sat, 15th Oct 2011

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