Mr Grumpy

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By Mr Grumpy - Thu 12th Apr 2012

 

I have been involved in the thick of some pretty violent and frightening gang warfare taking place on my own doorstep over the course of these last few weeks.

Some of the local upstarts have made a stance against a group of die-hard immigrants that are attempting to take over their ‘manor’.

To be honest I shouldn’t have been surprised as it happens every year at the same time – starting when the clocks go back, and the warmer weather starts to show itself.

Most years I ignore it and hope that it won’t affect or disrupt me or my family too much, but this year I have been forced to get involved in the conflict going on between these two groups, often with me coming off the worse.

I know and fully appreciate that as an immigrant myself I am on shaky ground when it comes to proclaiming who has a right where to live and when etc... however, I feel quite strongly when a load of violent freeloaders move into my neighbourhood.

Who are these immigrant gangs ?...... The Latin Kings from El Salvador ? The Suarez Cartel from Mexico ? The Russian Mafia ? A Gang of Romanian Pimps ?

Nope a gang of Swallows from Siberia.

A family of Sparrows have been living quite contently and peacefully under my Naya for that last 12 months, raising their young and keeping the mozzies at bay. Apart from the occasion toiletry misdemeanour we have got along famously.

And then along come the bloody tourists – as soon as the sun comes out the Swallows come back, pushing their weight around and disrespecting all around them, regardless of the commotion and upset it causes others. Although the locals are greater in number, they are generally much smaller and placid and can’t really put up much of a fight, so I know that they will end up being forced to move out for a few months whilst these bloody immigrants take over.

And I also know that these tourists will end up making one hell of a mess – that I have to clean up – and that I will probably have to put measures in place that effectively punish both gangs equally, leaving both parties banished from my manor.

I’m sure that there is a lesson there somewhere, but for the life in me I’m not sure what it is !