Mr Grumpy

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By Mr Grumpy - Tue 13th Nov 2012

 

There are many things in life that I am pretty bad at, and quite possibly as many things again that I aspire to be at best average at.

Once such thing is the growth of facial hair.

To be fair to myself, I am able to grow a pretty respectable growth of stubble, however, after around a week my stubble tends to turn silvery-white, which is never a good look for a guy in his 30's.

Nicknames of Captain Birdseye and Uncle Albert have been no stranger to me in the past.

And yes, like almost every guy post-puberty, I have on occasion experimented with facial topiary when on my own in the house.

Almost every attempt at my strategic shaving (step by step, pausing to admire my handiwork after each stage) left me looking like a long-lost Dingle family member; A 70's Porn Star; Freddy Mercury; and a member of the Hitler Youth (and to be fair, the shaved head doesn’t seem to help).

At best the Mrs would refuse to allow me to leave the house.

So even though I would support it if I could, I decided that I am better off refraining from participating in "Movember" lest my appearance worries too many small children and I am stuck with an indecency award from the fashion police.

However I have to admit dismay, shock and awe - and in a limited number of cases respect - when so many of my friends and acquaintances are cultivating something akin to a fungal growth on their upper lip in an attempt at a display of male solidarity.

With just 2 weeks until the end of month I fear that a number of soup-strainers may become permanent fixtures and nipping down the local for a pint will be reminiscent of an Army Sergeants’ mess instead.

And although Movember is a worthy cause in raising awareness of, and funds for a number of cancer charities, I just think that it allows men in general to experiment with our facial hair, secure in knowledge that we can use this as an excuse whenever anyone takes the piss.

Respect to anyone brave enough to sacrifice their street-cred to take part and do something positive.

More about Movemeber >> HERE <<.