Mr Grumpy

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By Mr Grumpy - Fri 15th Mar 2013

 

Over the course of the last 6 months I have been fortunate / unfortunate enough to have travelled abroad on business, where I have had to pitch various projects to Engineers in Germany, Hungary, Greece, Ireland, Kuala Lumpur as well as Spain.

My fretting about the language and cultural differences when conducting business overseas were largely unfounded, given that in almost each case the various project Engineers all spoke my own native tongue better than I did myself.

On a recent training course in Malaysia two of the tutors spent the entire 2 weeks teaching the Physics of Air, and other equally riveting subjects, in plain English – despite being Spanish.

In short, I have understood and have been understood pretty much everywhere.

Until today.

A visit to Glasgow – sorry, “ Glisgae “ – left me verbally committing to things that I have simply no idea what was asked of me, and feeling like I was playing out a scene in an Irvine Welch novel.

Perhaps it may have been nerves, given that the last time I was in the city was the Summer of ’97 when I was forced to sleep rough outside Glasgow Central train station after losing my mates at an Oasis gig at Loch Lomond, and being forced to find my own way home. I can still recall being told ad nauseum by Rab C Nesbitt where I could buy the cheapest Tenants Super strength and battered Mars Bars even now. But that’s an anecdote for another time.

It was shortly after the meeting that it dawned on me that I should have contracted the services of a translator to accompany me to the meeting – somebody like Spainstruck’s Mo - to tag along. As a bonafide Translator, she would quite possibly have steered me away from committing to a massive discount on a project, or grinning inanely when asked by the security guard if I was carrying any combustible materials in my possession.

Being a devout Yorkshireman I often forget that some people are not blessed with being able to speak properly, however I find it embarrassing that in the last 12 months I have had more clearly understood conversations (in both English and Spanish) with foreign citizens, than I have with my own countrymen.

Then again, I recall Mo’s website only offers Spanish > English > Spanish Translation. I’m not sure where, or indeed if English > ‘Weedgie’ would feature.

Or further to that, to what extent to the Spanish have the same problem in making themselves understood with their fellow Spaniards from different regions ? Do Catalan – Galician translators even exist ?

”The English are not happy unless they are miserable, the Irish are not at Peace unless they are at War, and the Scots are not at home unless they are abroad” : George Orwell.