My inability to converse freely and easily in Castilian – let alone Valenciano – can only be described as being legendary amongst the locals in my Valley.

At Best.

This, being one of my lesser failings, is one the many things about myself which I have grown to be uncomfortable about.

However, I regret the fact that barely 3 weeks ago I had cause to have an altercation with a Spanish friend who questioned my ability to speak Castilian

Note I Said ‘Castilian’....

My Spanish friend had cause – quite reasonably so – to question my standard of spoken ‘Castilian’, and being what I can only describe as a “serial offender” I admit I took the well-trodden path of those clearly in the wrong and came out fighting.

I was accused of not being able to speak Castilian, and after the realisation that my friend and acquaintance was in the right came to pass, I was clearly indignant, and did exactly what any self-respecting Brit would do.

I accused my friend (who actually speaks better than I do myself) of not being “fluent in English” - as they had bragged on so-may-an occasion.

Instead, I advised them that the language which they were actually fluent in was American – not English.

Sadly , it seems that despite the fact that we share a “common language” (Cough) , and despite the Spellchecker on my pc thinking that they “actually do know best”, that the “American Language" has won through against the Queen’s English.

But what peeved and upset me all the more was the fact that this snippet of information did not annoy and offend him quite as much as I had hoped that it would.

Next time we have cause to discuss our respective languages I will ask him to give me lessons so I can speak Mexican as well as he does.