Mr Grumpy

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By Mr Grumpy - Thu 22th Sep 2011

 

On a level playing field and with a decent wind behind me, I would not class myself as the sort of guy that panics very often, or in too many challenging circumstances or situations.

In fact, moments of panic happen for me so infrequently that I can probably categorise the three different circumstances that they would ever usually happen under for ease of reference :

1) Losing or mis-placing my mobile phone (Happens more often than it should)

2) Getting my head stuck in something (More than an adult male should have to admit)

3) Speaking to a Spaniard.

The problem for me is that even after living and working in Spain for 7 years my Spanish is still embarrassingly shocking. What I should have done was began an intensive language course as soon as I landed on these sunny shores, however, as I was lucky enough to land a half-decent job pretty soon after arriving, that of course took precedence.

It wouldn't have been too bad if I was working for a Spanish company, but it was a British company, employing British staff, and working with British clients and British suppliers.

I might as well have been in England.

Add that to the fact that the hours were quite long, and on an evening and weekends my time was spent working on the Finca that I had just bought.

My friends and acquaintances were all made through work and so English speaking, and all of the clubs and associations in the immediate area were catering for, shall we say 'a different generation', and I wasn't really taken with the idea of learning how to make lace.

Obviously I made all the appropriate excuses as to why I couldn't learn the lingo.

We didn't have TV of any kind to start off with, and as most of my DVD's were moody, we couldn't change the language settings.

Obviously I have picked up quite a lot of vocab, and a decent amount of grammar over the years and my listening and reading of spanish isn't bad - just my speaking.

My problem is that whenever somebody speaks to me in Spanish I spend so long trying to get the reply 100% correct in my head, that by the time I am ready to reply the moment has passed by and I am left looking like the grinning imbecile who has lived in the village for 7 years and doesn't speak to anybody.

So next week I have enrolled myself on a 2 hour per week language & cultural course at the local town hall (all in Castillian, which for this area is a bonus !) in the hope that it will give me some opportunities to book my ideas up.

However, what I would really like, and what would suit me perfectly is some kind of boot camp : I would be taken away from home and my usual environment and to some location in Spain where nobody at all spoke any English whatsoever. I would live with a Spanish family who would bully me into making conversation at every opportunity and frog march me at gunpoint to various lessons and cultural events and make me speak spanish ad nauseum. Two weeks of hyper-intensive brainwashing should do the trick.

I have a pretty decent memory, I just need the opportunity !