Mr Grumpy

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By Mr Grumpy - Thu 26th Apr 2012

 

Before anyone accuses me of prejudice or discrimination they should first of all understand that I have taken 4 flights to and from Spanish airports in the space of last two weeks. Likewise I have dropped off and collected the Mrs from the airport, and as such the subject of Spanish airport food – not British or French - is foremost in my mind at this moment in time.

Likewise, I appreciate that not all airports are the same – there is a great deal of variety – both in terms of the range of what is on offer and the quality of what is on offer.

However, my observations and musings on the subject over recent weeks are thus :

* A Spaniard should never be forced into, or indeed ever attempt to prepare a ‘Full English Breakfast’. Most offerings I have witnessed to not even closely resemble edible food. Nor should it come with a parsley garnish.

* We British generally like our meals warm – not lukewarm and congealed.

* 7 Euros 50 Cents for a Pint of Carling and a Bowl of nachos in the ‘John Bull Pub’ does not constitute good value for money. I think that trading standards could have you on that score for promoting this as a ‘Special offer’.

* A ‘Tapas Food Court’.... Dear God, why ? Many tourists on their yearly pilgrimage to Spain may go home with the impression that these sad, reheated offerings really are typical of Spanish food – IE Total crap. Kind of like trying to convince somebody that a McDonalds is typical of a traditional British Sunday Roast.

* McDonalds : Scum of the earth, do I need to elaborate...?

* Subway : Seriously, I get the idea that my Bocadillo is made fresh for me, but paying a tenner for it with a bag of crisps and something that they call coffee takes the schmichael.

* Since when was water so expensive ? Especially after you have gone through security (nothing quite as explosive as water in an airport cafeteria, is there ?)

* If I pay 4 Euros for a polystyrene cup of ‘Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice’, then I expect the Orange Juice to be freshly squeezed, and not for the carton to be winking at me from under the counter.

I’m not against people making a living, even against companies taking advantage of a unique set of circumstances to charge a premium for their products and services, but when street vendors on limited resources can prepare far better snacks at a fraction of the price it makes me fume.

Being held to ransom and ripped off for food and drink that nobody would buy (regardless of the price) in the outside world should be criminalised.