Mr Grumpy

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By Mr Grumpy - Wed 9th May 2012

 

Love them or hate them, it seems that everybody has an opinion about Facebook.

Whether using social media to network for business purposes, or just to keep in touch with somebody you once borrowed a bottle of tipex from two decades ago and haven’t seen since, there are seemingly as many different ways to use the platform as there are pointless applications on the site.

Seriously, if another person “throws a snowball” at me, or “invites me to share a cocktail” with them, I am likely punch somebody.

And what is all this “Branch out” crap that I am inundated with at the moment ?

‘Scrabble ?’ – You must have waaaaay to much time on your hands (either that or you are in the office and supposed to be working). And what’s wrong with the traditional board game anyway ?

And since when was ‘unfriended’ a real word anyway ?

Another thing that seems to be the ‘unspoken rule’ is that anybody with kids has to feature them somewhere in their avatar / profile picture (Guilty as charged...) – It must be a mandatory requirement somewhere in their terms and conditions. Why is this, I wonder ? – Is it really necessary to prove to people that you hardly ever speak to that you have successfully procreated ?

I also think it would be a useful idea for Facebook to have a built in test or some kind of mechanism that can judge your degree of sobriety before posting anything. I, for one, know that some of those photographs I posted of me in the late 1980’s with a corkscrew perm are somewhere out there in cyberspace for all to see, and will doubtlessly come back to haunt me when I am rich and famous.

My ‘Public Information’ and ‘Status’ : The Mrs didn’t speak to me for a week when I refused to acknowledge that we ‘were in a relationship’ together. Why ? It was as though I had issued divorce proceedings without telling her (figuratively speaking , of course, given that we are not married). Why do I need to validate whatever relationship I may or may not have with Facebook before it becomes ‘real’ ? - What if I am playing the field ? – There doesn’t seem to be an option to enter ‘Polygamous’.

Rant over. I’m now going to poke somebody and browse like a stalker through the profile information of people that I barely know...