Mr Grumpy

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At this precise moment in time I have two laptops : a 'Good one' and a 'Crap one'.

Let me expand on this (and bear with me on this one)...

My office is situated at the back of my Finca. Ok, ok, when I say 'Office' I mean a rickety desk shoved in the back corner of the spare room.

... And when I say Finca imagine a very old cottage, built without cavity wall insulation, roof insulation, central heating and with ice cold tiles instead of carpets. In short for 3 months of the year my office - and my house as a whole - is colder than a Penguin's jockstrap.

So for the last few weeks I have turned my back on my freezing office and have instead opted to work from the positively balmy climate in my living room, of around minus 5c.

At 8am I sit on the sofa in my Beeny hat, my finger mits and my scarf and start work until around 10am. Because my Finca is ancient, and originally built for drying raisins, it captures as much natural sunlight for as much of the day as is possible - therefore at around 10am the direct sunlight hits the naya and the house very slowly starts to warm up. To around zero c.

So, as odd as it may sound, for quite a few hours of the day it is actually warmer for me to sit outside and work than it is inside - or at least have the front doors and windows wide open, and as such this is what I do.

The problem here is that we have an extended family of Sparrows living on the naya (we also have a family of Swallows, bit they are at currently on Vacation for 6 months in Siberia, or wherever) and they have now got used to the door being open most of the day, and have become used to flying in and out of the house whenever they choose.

The other day they must have told their mates about the easy feed because a couple of Robins even came in.

This happens four or five times each and every day : They ignore me throwing things at them, they ignore the dog going ballistic and trying to grab them out of the air, but worst of all, if I am not around they crap on my laptop computer.

I must have spent hours with a fistful of cotton wool buds frantically trying to prize birdshit from the keys of my laptop.

So what do I do now ? Do I spend the rest of the winter freezing my jangly bits off work on my 'Crap Computer' in my office, or continue to work with my 'Good Computer', which is covered in crap for most of the time ?